Wedding in Paradise

Weddings in PNG are beautiful, but very different from weddings in the US. In the village there is often little or no ceremony at all. The families come to an agreement on bride price, her relatives take the bride to the husbands village, receive the bride price, and she moves into her husband's house.

Christian couples often want a church wedding, but just like in North America, that has become an elaborate and expensive matter. We recently attended a wedding at Kukon, a village near Kudjip. A young pastor was marrying a girl from that church. As in America, the bride is brought in by her father, or other male relative, in this case an uncle. Unlike America, the groom is also ushered in by his father or older male relative, holding hands.

Then the pastor askes the families if they are in agreement on the marriage. A representative of the bride's family stands and makes a speeche about how great a young man the groom is, and that they have found him to be a suitable mate for their beloved daughter. Someone from the man's family makes a similar speech about the girl. The the ceremony can procede.

One custom that most visitors think is especially beautiful and touching is the flower ring. This is a large wreath of flowers that is held by the families or by the maid of honor and best man during prayer. It has much the same symbolism that a wedding ring has--the circle indicates the endless quality of the love that they share.

There is always a full-length sermon. At this wedding the pastor spoke very clearly about love, and that the couple are to show love and kindness to each other. That is definately a Christian message in this culture. We happened to know the groom in this case, and know him to be a kind and compassionate person. We have no doubt that he will be good to his wife.

Everyone is very serious at weddings. There is no smiling, at least not until everyone goes outside for the mumu (a big feast of food that is roasted in pits using hot stones). But even then everyone (especially the bride and groom) is careful not to act like they don't take the whole thing very seriously.

Before the mumu the gifts are given. The bride and groom sit in chairs, and everyone files past them shaking their hands and congratulating them, and then lays their presents on a tarp or blanket in front of them. In some cases family members, especially if they have helped to pay the wedding expenses claim some of the gifts. We understand that at this wedding the couple got to keep all of them.

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